Week 44: Four Rooms (Nicholson’s, Hamburger Mary’s, Tostado’s, IKEA?!)

Author: admin  //  Category: Eating out, Food review

Whew, what an exhausting week.  It’s been really gratifying for this one to end because it’s been LOTS and lots of work.  But I’m pleased to tell you I’m writing this from our NEW and beautiful 3rd floor office.  I kind of feel like king of the world from up here, with my rockin’ computer sound system and natural elevation advantage over most other folks in the ‘hood.  But a lot of work to get here!

As a part of “getting here,” I’m pleased to say I’ve had more than a usual number of meals out this week.  (Well, my wallet isn’t pleased, nor my stomach.  But ME, I was plenty pleased.)  Except that not all these meals were great.  Of these four rooms, let’s say 3 out of 4 ain’t bad!

A Return to Comfortable Form:  Hamburger Mary’s (Downtown)

She's baaaaaack...

She's baaaaaack...

I for one was modestly disappointed when Hamburger Mary’s went belly-up a few years ago, to be replaced by the seemingly-similar, but definitely-not-similar, Universal Grille.  Then the whole operation shut down.  Well, folks, Hamburger Mary’s is back and while I can’t say it’s better than ever, it’s the same as ever which is pretty good for getting some diversity downtown.

Same as she ever was

Same as she ever was

After two changes of ownership you might expect more changes than just some furniture arranging, but again… this isn’t an avant-guarde dining experience.  It’s just Mary’s.  In fact, the only thing missing on this day was “Mary” herself.  (For those who haven’t had the pleasure of a Mary’s experience, the “hostess” at Mary’s was always, well, a Mary.  A drag queen, you know?  But not this day!)

As for the food?

A sweet classic

A sweet classic

Well, folks, it’s burgers… and big ones at that.  Perfectly enjoyable– I got the BBQ burger, replete with swiss cheese, bacon, and an onion ring.  It was thankfully prepared PERFECTLY (so nice when they know what medium rare is like)– the only issue was that the BBQ sauce they were using were almost sickly sweet– it definitely clouded the overall impression of the sandwich, but I take great solace that the meal was prepared well.  The “spicy fries” on the side, while not particularly innovative, provided a blessed relief from the sweetness.  All things told, it was a lunch that I’ve been missing for… oh, three years or so!

A (Nice!) Surprise at Tostado’s Grill (Columbia-Tusculum)

So, tucked away on Delta just south of Columbia Parkway is a a slightly-larger-than-normal hole in the wall called Tostado’s Grill.  This is an interesting place, because while most people haven’t heard of it, the kind who have heard of it describe it one of two ways.  One camp says, “oh yeah, they have Mexican food and it’s pretty good.”  The other camp says, “Tostado’s?  Oh, that’s kind of a fun place late at night around 1 or 2 when they’ve got karaoke on and cheap drinks.”  The interesting thing is that I’ve yet to find someone who seems to recognize it BOTH as a Mexican restaurant and locals bar late at night.  Odd.  I was of the camp that knew it as a late-night drinkers’ bar (don’t ask why!) so we went to check it out for dinner. 

I’ll admit the menu is just plain odd– about 1/2 of the menu is made of solid Tex-Mex dishes, with the balance split between normal American stuff (fish, burgers, salads) and local-style German food (Mettwursts, sauerkraut balls, etc.).  I’ll admit… our first impression was “this place doesn’t know what it wants to be when it grows up.”

What a surprise!

What a surprise!

Of course, given all of this we came in with pretty modest expectations.  We asked the server what to order and without hesitation he recommended the carnitas and the chimichangas.  Again interesting, with carnitas (roast pork) being a REALLY Mexican dish, and the chimichanga just about as Texas as one can get.  But what the hell, we turned our menus over, ordered those two dishes and a couple (really good!) margaritas and waited to see what we’d get.

Carnitas are one of my favorite Latin dishes, but it’s a very delicate balance between succulent bold flavor, and tough stringy pork.  I feared the last desperately but what I was served was one of the tastiest orders of carnitas I’ve ever had.  It was not only juicy as hell, it was actually SEASONED!  All too many places ease up on the salt when making this dish– I can understand, as I don’t over-do it there, either.  But roast pork simply REQUIRES it to maintain its moistness and flavor.  I’m pleased to say they’ve got it figured out.  Wow!  The charro beans on the side were perfectly nice, and despite some very unmemorable rice, they’ve put together a quite excellent meal, easily surpassing expectations.

Crazy chimi!  (Still getting used to this damn iPhone camera)

Crazy chimi! (Still getting used to this damn iPhone camera)

The chimichanga was less spectacular, but solid.  This Tex-Mex wonder is basically a fried burrito, and I’m surprised NOT to see it on more menus around here, when noting the popularity of burrito places and fried foods.  There’s little not to like– a chicken burrito, lightly fried, and topped with cheese sauce.  It was pretty much exactly like it sounds.  Decent, acceptable, even this being more than you’d expect from a local bar.  And mid-way through the second margarita, it was tasting pretty good. 

But even a pair of margaritas couldn’t keep things floating once karaoke started.  Don’t get me wrong… I enjoy karaoke… late at night.  But at 10:30, it’s a little early folks, and trust me you don’t want to be there for the first half hour.  So, we packed it in, headed home and played Rock Band for a while because if there’s going to be karaoke… I want to play the drums.

Same as Ever, or Decieving Cincinnati?:  Nicholson’s (Downtown)

Lies...

Lies...

One day this week at lunch, some colleagues and I were walking downtown and as I took my customary look down Walnut from Sixth, I saw a remarkable thing on the side of Nicholson’s Pub, the Scottish place across from the Aronoff.  They were claiming to be “Cincinnati’s First and Finest Gastropub.”  Could it be that the gastropub movement has finally reached our humble burg?

I know that reviews like these, where someone actually writes something negative about a place other people like, exposes folks like me to more an a fair share of “directed feedback.”  So let me start with this:  like it or not, the word “gastropub” counts to me like a claim– something you’ve got to back up.  So if you’re the “first,” you certainly can’t mean you’re simply a pub with food, since you opened 12 years ago.  So what do you mean?  The more “current” definitions of gastropub talk much more about the sourcing of the food and the quality of the meal and experience.  Perhaps this is the definition more sought-after.  If so, I was wondering what had changed at the place to warrant such a big and boastful claim!  I went inside to find out.

(By the way, if you’d like to read more about this phenomenon, take a look at this very interesting article:  http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0JAW/is_84/ai_n19187661/

So what of the menu?  Well, pretty much identical to what they served before.  It was on new paper, the font was bigger, and the number of selections were smaller… but I counted only 3 dishes I hadn’t seen here before.  I’m sure there were probably more, but let’s just say it would strike one as being a “remarkably similar” menu.

Well, what of the food then?

Too bad...

Too bad...

I got the “prime rib melt,” thinking that this was the kind of dish where ingredient quality could be pretty directly noted.  Guess what?  Pretty much the same as anywhere else, which is interesting given that this restaurant group owns a place (de Sha’s) that is known for their prime rib.  The whole thing came out greasy and fatty, with lukewarm fries.  TOO BAD!

Now folks, please please please don’t get me wrong.  I like Nicholson’s just fine!  I do!  If I were to go back (and I would) I’d order fish and chips and a Scotch egg, just like usual.  And I’d enjoy it just like usual.

But folks… what gets me is the disingenuous marketing as a “gastropub.”  It’s a pub with food, yes.  The food is decent.  But this is an early example of using the term as marketing rubbish.  What it means, sadly, is that the term loses meaning to those folks most likely to want it to mean something!  I feel badly for folks who go there for the first time expecting more.  Don’t.  Please do go, enjoy it, but stick to the basics.  Fish and whisky’ll do ya fine!

IKEA’s Meatballs– thankfully not flat packed (West Chester)

OK, this doesn’t really warrant a full review but while rug shopping (fun, no?) early in the week, we happened upon IKEA’s cafe while we were hungry.  On the one hand, hard for a furniture chain with hundreds of outlets around the world to be a credible food provider.  On the other, name me two other places in Cincinnati where you can actually find five or six really local dishes native to Sweden?

There it is!

There it is!

We split an order of Swedish meatballs.  The meatballs were clearly previously frozen, the gravy likely reconstituted, the fruit a little syrupy-sweet… but you know what, folks?  It works.  It’s kind of “party appetizer” food and I’ll admit this:  while I won’t go myself out there to eat, but it’s the best “furniture store food” I’ve ever had.  And you?

Enjoy your week… fall’s-a-comin’!  Next weekend finds me in Ann Arbor for the beginning of the football season– bring it on!

Week 43: City View Tavern: Your Mt. Adams Apartment (and a Lunch at Javier’s)

Author: admin  //  Category: Eating out, Food review

These have been very fast days for me lately, balancing a pretty busy work life with the intense, OCD-centric desire to get every remaining box in the house unpacked.  It’s a recipe for “productivity without fun.”  So Friday night, we threw a wrench into those plans.  Despite the howls of pain coming from the more industrious part of me (“finish the second floor, man!”), we took a trip to Mt. Adams.

Mt. Adams is one of those neighborhoods that tend to loom large among residents of the area or transplants to the city under age 25.  Being neither of those, Mt. Adams has become a curious novelty– certainly I spent lots of time there when I first transplanted, and it’s still one of the most vibrant and interesting places in our fair city.  But, of course, you think of going and the excuses come fast and furious:

-Oh, that place is a meat market these days.  (When was that ever not the case?)

-There’s nothing up there I can’t get anywhere else.

-The place will be packed, no room for us on a Friday night.  And of course…

-Oh, the parking!

Yes, Mt. Adams takes just a little bit of work– mind you, nothing like the kind of work it takes to get ANYWHERE in the downtown parts of our bigger city neighbors, but we surely like our evenings out easy, don’t we?

“Dinner” at City View Tavern

Truth in advertising

Truth in advertising

In any case, a co-worker mentioned this place over lunch on Friday and it struck a resonant chord with me.  City View is tucked away a couple of blocks away from the hubbub up the hill on Hatch and St. Gregory, nestled in a row of condos, homes, and apartments.  In fact, walking through City View you are struck by the very real possibility that this place was someone’s apartment in the not-too-distant past, but that they thought they might do better with a tavern there.

And a tavern is exactly what it is!  A small room at the front (the sitting room of the apartment, to my mind’s eye) hosts a pool table.  The dining room is the bar, replete with a few regulars.  (Interestingly, there are only five beers on tap, but the selection is very good– Moerlein’s OTR, Bell’s seasonal, Leinie’s seasonal, Stella, and Guinness.)  The kitchen is, well, the kitchen and off to the back.  Oh, and they appear to cook with an honest-to-god outdoor grill.    The living room is simple but shows off the truth in advertising of the other part of the tavern’s name:

Cincinnati, ladies and gentlemen...

Cincinnati, ladies and gentlemen...

Yes, City View Tavern is all of those things.  It was a gorgeous night (the kind that makes you look so forward to the treats of fall that are around the corner), and pulling out a couple of folding chairs (and eventually a table) made us feel like we had our own beautiful Mt. Adams apartment overlooking the city.  The place does nothing to encourage an intimate feel… it just comes naturally with the expanse of man and nature before you.  It is at once relaxing and energizing.  To your left and right, beyond the other diners you only seem to notice when looking sideways, are the backsides of all of those condos and apartments with their residents similarly grilling, eating, and drinking.  Yes, City View Tavern is your Mt. Adams apartment.  Can’t you feel it?

Oh, you may be wondering… do they serve food?  Thankfully it does– otherwise this post is in the wrong place!  The menu is about as simple as it gets– like the draft beers, it’s easy to remember the whole thing.  There’s the burger (The Big Ted, offered as Deluxe–with trimmings– and regular), the mettwurst (appropriately noted as “HOT!!” on the blackboard), and microwave popcorn.  Oh, and chips.  Each sandwich comes with a bag of Husman’s or Grippo’s, and somehow it just fits.

After a few beers and a spectacular sunset, we put in for a couple of Big Ted Deluxe’s.  The lighting conspired against me conveying this sandwich to you, although I hope you see I tried!

Oh, poor misguided photo

Oh, poor misguided photo

So I’m left to describe it to you.  It’s brought to you in a tavern-style plastic basket, complete with frilled toothpick and bag of chips.  The sesame seed bun is de rigeur and undoubtedly comes from some commercial bakery, but it holds up well.  The burger itself is sizeable, I’d guess somewhere between a quarter and a third of a pound, and I’ll admit it just plain feels good in your hand.  The deluxe comes with onion, lettuce, tomato, ketchup, and mustard.  The first impression upon eating it is that this is a beefy burger.  They cook everything to just past medium– I asked to get one a little less done, and was told in a very nice way that they only cook it one way here– but it was still juicy and quite flavorful.  I don’t think it was the quality of the meat, but it may be that they seared in some of the juices.  In any case, it held its own and add quite a bit of depth to the sandwich.  The accompaniments were properly laid out and did not overwhelm.  All things considered, a very good burger and a surprisingly good one from a place that isn’t reputed for food.

A couple more beers later and I got curious about the mettwurst and we enjoyed it before we left. I’ll spare you the photo, because if you thought the burger one was bad, it had nothing on this!  The mettwurst was blindingly hot, and I think that to add insult to injury they may have put horseradish on there!  To me it was fine and fun, but you didn’t get much of a feel for the character of the sausage which I think must have been boiled because it didn’t have any of the blistering one associated with grilling or broiling. It was sliced lengthwise, and then in half again, served flat-side-down on rye bread with aforementioned horseradish.  It’s a good “palate cleanser” after a few beers.  The damage for what must have been at least 5 beers, two deluxe burgers, and a mett came altogether to about $35.  And the view was free!

Lunch at Javier’s: Downtown Mexican Alternative

This week, a group of co-workers and I headed to a place I always enjoy, Javier’s Mexican Restaurant.  I am surprised I haven’t written about it before!  It’s in a space that (I believe) used to be a Busken Bakery across the street from the Main Library.  It’s an alternative to the Margarita’s chain (or Burrito Joe’s… or Chipotle…) on several levels.

Holiday Catering?  Time to change the sign...

Holiday Catering? Time to change the sign...

It’s cafeteria-style, place-your-order-at-the-bar service with a jovial manager who gives the big and kind of formless space some character.  The menu includes a number of typical dishes in the camps of nachos, salads, tacos, and specials.  They’ve got daily specials which are good, but I usually get the tinga tostados.

Cap'n, the tostadas can't take it much longer!

Cap'n, the tostadas can't take it much longer!

Until Nada came along, it’s the only tinga I’ve found in downtown Cincinnati, and I think it’s better–by a hair.  (Although to be honest, both should be better!)  It’s a standard tostada covered with the chicken tinga– kind of a stewy, fall-apart delicious kind of thing– as well as a too-generous helping of their very creamy guacamole, lettuce, and cheese.  I added some red onion which brightened the flavors significantly.  They could really put this over the top with some lemon juice or cilantro, but who am I to complain?  The weight of the food made the concept of eating this with your hands (the norm for tostadas) a messy endeavor at best (especially with co-workers at lunch).  So if you fork-and-knife it, it comes together well.  All things considered, it’s solid sturdy fare and at least a fair bit more interesting than what you’ll find most places.

Javier’s is trying hard to stand out in a world of restaurant commoditization downtown, and you can see a lot of effort there, just judging from the flyers about live music in the evening and a pretty impressively-stocked bar.  (I can’t imagine the Library district gets a lot of nighttime party hoppers, though.)  I am also impressed by their numerous fish and seafood dishes, clearly an attempt to stand out from some of the other local places.  I think they’ve got the formula ALMOST nailed– if they are willing to be a little bit bolder with ingredients and flavors, I think they may just seal the deal!

Enjoy this preview of fall weather, everyone!

Week 42: The Week Ends Well- Lunch at the Orient, Dinner at Boca

Author: admin  //  Category: Eating out, Food review

Friends– it’s been a trying week.  I won’t go into it all here,  but it involved drama of the occupational, medical, and HVAC types.  Fun, no?  So yes, it’s been stressful and we’ve been here unpacking the new house… slowly, but steadily.  But I’m thankful to have made time for a couple of little treats!

Boca Grand Tasting

It is ALWAYS a good day when you get to have dinner at Boca.  And it’s something special when you decide to go for the Chef’s tasting.  They don’t even tell you what’s on it, you know… you just order, tell them if you have allergies, and a 2-hour, seven-course meal begins.  And this one was spectacular.  I won’t show all seven, even though in any given week this website would be lucky to feature food this good!

Sideways gazpacho.  Goddamn you, iPhone!

Sideways gazpacho. Goddamn you, iPhone!

No good metaphor for the photo being sideways (I just apparently don’t know how to use my iPhone) but the whole deal started with a humble but amazing little crock of gazpacho.  WOW this was good.  The soup itself was the perfect consistency where you weren’t eating hunks of tomato but where you could definitely sense the pulp there.  A little bit of amazing crab in the center alongside homemade croutons and some nice crunchy veggies.  Right on.

Scallop

Scallop

Course two was the classic scallop in brown butter with brussel sprouts.  If you’ve had it, you know what I mean when I say it is the best scallop and the best sprout you will eat in your lifetime.  If you haven’t, you won’t believe me… at least not until you eat it.  This is priceless food, people!

sideways risotto

sideways risotto

This risotto was also phenomenal– it was made like I do at home (chicken stock, finished with white wine and parmesan) except that at the end they shaved some black truffles on top.  NICE.

Three of a kind

Three of a kind

And although I’m not a big dessert guy, these three were out of the park.  My favorite is the cute panna cotta on the left, but one can never argue with a nice flourless chocolate cake.  Nice.

An incredible evening and one worth celebrating!

Lunch @ the Orient Restaurant

Sideways Orient

Sideways Orient

A friend of mine directed me to a little hole in the wall very close to work.  It’s next door to the Bay Horse Tavern (whoa!) and really hard to notice!  Their specialties are Thai and Chinese food (I’m guessing the “Chinese” part is so that someone actually comes in to eat in Cincinnati!  I ordered a pork noodle dish “with the broth” that was lovely.

Sideways brothy pork noodles

Sideways brothy pork noodles

While the broth is always a dangerous proposition when dining in work clothes, it paid off as it was a delicious and full-flavored experience.  The pork was thinly sliced and (tasted to me) sauteed in a pan alongside some vegetables.  The noodles were delicate but not overcooked, and the whole thing had a nice bite to it, thanks to some well-placed cilantro.  It’s the kind of dish that you’ll be really satisfied with– just bring your mints with you!  Get to this place… the food is good quality, and the menu is enormous!

Week 41: Mindless Fun in the Suburbs (Cheeseburger in Paradise)

Author: admin  //  Category: Eating out, Food review

Well, I suppose it’s what some would call an over-correction;  after a couple of weeks of stress with moving to a new place and a 2-week trip overseas, let’s just say I was craving some comfort!  We were out and about on Friday running errands– given the new neighborhood, the “suburb” we go to in order to get things done is a new one for us, Eastgate.  I’ve been out there a couple of times most often for their pretty good adventure miniature golf place, but not usually for shopping.  At the end of the trip, I look up, and what do I see in my moment of weakness?

Comfort...

Comfort...

Yes, folks, it’s Cincinnati’s Cheeseburger in Paradise.  I know, it’s not local, it’s not very interesting, and the food quality isn’t much to speak of.  But it was there, and I’m not too arrogant to admit, it sounded GOOD.  So we pulled our weary selves in.  I ordered myself a rum punch and immediately the world became a more colorful and relaxed place.  Oh yes, this was going to be OK after all.  And of course, one starts with some mini-cheeseburger sliders…

These are upside down and I don't know why!

These are upside down and I don't know why!

Forgive the odd upside-down photo but the mini-burgers were good only in the sense that they were mini-burgers which mean they are difficult to screw up.  They were way overcooked, but they were cute and I’ll admit that I didn’t mind so much as I started my second rum punch.  I somehow managed to show some restraint for my dinner order, the grilled steak salad:

Actually not terrible!

Actually not terrible!

I’ll admit folks, I feared the worst but it was not bad.  Let’s be clear– it’s not a healthy dish and I feel bad for folks ordering it that are thinking they’re getting the best of both worlds.  The lettuce is iceburg, the dressing (balsamic) is all over the salad, and folks that is a steak that includes the fatty parts.  But between the fat and oil, it tasted A-OK to me.  In fact, I think it was quite all right.  Sometimes you choose a place knowing that you’ll be getting a fun atmosphere, good drinks (and they were good), and decent food.  And that’s what we got.  And I don’t mind at all.

However… the next night I got my REAL Cheeseburger in Paradise at Terry’s.  Even though I am not going to review another Terry’s burger here, this post could use a photo of a REAL burger:

Damn this new camera

Damn this new camera

OK, so I’ll figure it out.  But it was simple– swiss cheese, grilled onions.  God damn these burgers are amazing.  Thanks to their liberal use of pepper for brightening my weekend.  And this time I’m pleased to say the service was top notch, AND we were recognized.  I guess that makes us regulars?  I can think of worse things!

Enjoy your week and eat well!

Week 40: Top Ten Russian Meals

Author: admin  //  Category: Eating out, Food review, Personal life
Well gang, I am writing this on my return flights from Moscow to Cincinnati on various layovers and planes. This has been one long-ass trip!  It’s been a blast but I am SO ready to come home!  How ready am I?  I went out to a super-nice solo dinner last night at one of Moscow’s finest restaurants (Kitezh) and I could barely keep the food down!  My stomach and brain conspired against me and WILLED me to eat something familiar.  It’s kind of that way over here… there’s no problem finding American food but if you decide to eat local, it’s pretty different than what you are used to.  I’m not sure why, but I wasn’t expecting it!

Anyway, as I come home (and look forward to that first Terry’s burger of the return… don’t know when I’m getting there but I guarantee it won’t be long!) I thought that rather than give you the play-by-play (since there was more than a fair share of forgettable meals) I’d highlight the top 10 dishes of the trip.  Plus, I like making lists so it gives my obsessive self a way to feel normal.

Graham’s Top 10 Meals From the Trip

10.  Arugala/rocket salad with grilled prawns at BoscoBar (Moscow)

Prawns with a view

Prawns with a view

The photo pretty much says it all, doesn’t it?  A perfectly lovely summery salad on Red Square– incongruous?  The state-owned department store GUM runs alongside one end of the Square.  Gone are the days of rations and bland products– think Macy’s flagship store but bigger and nicer.  Moscow is a new monument to capitalism and GUM is at the center.  In it is Bosco Bar, a place that cares more about your money than your dining experience.  But, can you argue with eating ON Red Square?!  The salad was lovely, but as with the picture, St. Basil’s is more the highlight than the salad!

9.  Fried polenta at the Hyatt (Ekaterinburg)

Fried corn is good.  Pretty much always.

Fried corn is good. Pretty much always.

OK, hotel meals don’t usually make it onto this site, but I had a lunch at the Hyatt in Ekaterinburg that included an expertly prepared disc of fried polenta that almost made me want to weep.  It was moist on the inside, crunchy on the outside, and an all-around good time.  The lamb atop it wasn’t half bad either!

8.  Uzbek Food at Nigora (Ekaterinburg)

Homemade noodles.  Worth their weight in flour.

Homemade noodles. Worth their weight in flour.

Nigora is a little basement out-of-the-way Uzbek restaurant in Ekat.  I wrote about this dish last week but it’s definitely tops.  Homemade noodles, delicious, brothy meat, and lo-and-behold, vegetables!  (A rarity in my past week.)  If I could only forget the vodka that came about an hour later…

7.  “Honey Cake” at Pavilion (Moscow)

Layers of sweet and honey sweet

Layers of sweet and honey sweet

Pavilion is an UBER-stylish restaurant (where one might expect models to dine) in my new favorite spot in Moscow–Patriarch’s Ponds.  (It’s a tiny and beautiful park just steps from Tverskaya Street.)  The meal was incredible (you’ll see more of it later), but it ended with the server’s recommendation to get the homemade “honey cake.”  How can I describe this thing?  It’s sweet pastry cream, alternating layers with the moistest, thinnest-sliced cake you’ve ever seen.  And it really DOES taste like honey, in all the best ways.  Truly phenomenal.  The perfect end to maybe my best afternoon/evening of the trip.

6.  Goulash at Urquell Bar (Prague)

Goulash does a body good

Goulash does a body good

So I covered it last week, AND it wasn’t in Russia BUT can I just say how exciting it was to have real goulash?  Wasn’t what I expected at all, but it was phenomenal.  Does ANYONE know a place in Cincy or Michigan that does this right?

5.  Lamb Sliders at Starlite Diner (Moscow)

How did they know to spell it "Starlite"?!

How did they know to spell it "Starlite"?!

Starlite Diner?  Yes, folks, after a small mind/stomach rebellion on Friday night (it had been over a week of constant Russian, Czech, Georgian, Uzbek, and Tajikistani food) after going to see a concert (Suzanne Vega, of all people!), I was craving a little something familiar.  And there, steps from my hotel, is the Starlite Diner, a REAL American boxcar diner transplanted to Moscow.  How can I describe it?  The menu was probably 70% American, 30% Russian (you have to get those pelmenis in there somewhere!) and it was hidden in the courtyard off of a busy street.  I was clearly the only non-Russian there.  Are you wondering how Russians view American food?  I was!  By far, the two most popular items were buffalo wings and milkshakes if you’re curious.  Also in the “Americans must like it” camp, the TV’s were showing nude and near-nude women in fashion shows, swimsuit shoots, and other off-color things of the sort.  The Russian men– and women– were transfixed.  (I’ll admit, it was a bit distracting on that big HDTV…)  Also, it’s the only place all week long where a server actually asked how my food was.  Is that an American thing?

TGI Fridays... are you reading this?  You should be!  Get some inspiration!

TGI Fridays... are you reading this? You should be! Get some inspiration!

Anyway, most of the food there wasn’t any good, but I had these lamb sliders that, while not really American, were to DIE for!  Really nicely-spiced and generously-sized lamb patties, cooked not quite to medium, topped with hummus and a little bit of tomato chili sauce.  WOW, those things are amazing.  I should have ordered more of them than the bacon-swiss chicken sandwish I ordered.  The true test of an American meal anywhere?  It’s the only one all week that left a big pit in my stomach where the food sat heavy at the end of the meal.  USA!  USA!

4.  Lamb shashlik at Mama Zoya’s (Moscow)

LAMB!  Yummy.  On the river.  And with a view of a space shuttle!

LAMB! Yummy. On the river. And with a view of a space shuttle!

Mama Zoya’s is a floating restaurant just across the river from Gorky Park.  Let’s just say it was a long afternoon, and that Gorky Park is NOTHING like I imagined.  Think Coney Island, not Central Park.  But if Coney Island had a real honest-to-god Soviet space shuttle.  (In any case, the modern art museum across the street was excellent and nearly empty!)  Anyway, Mama Zoya’s is Georgian and fantastic.  The highlight was the Lamb Shashlik– think big chunks of roasted lamb on flatbread with a vinegary sauce.  Just awesome and explode-in-your-mouth juicy.  (Pictured alongside is a plate of pickled things… most interesting was the garlic.  I ate a lot of vinegar in this meal!)

3.  Baked pelmeni at Uralski Pelmeni (Ekaterinburg)

(NOT PICTURED, sadly)

OK gang, didn’t get a photo of this one– they were gone too fast!  Our last night in Ekat, we ordered pelmeni two ways, boiled and baked.  The boiled ones were good and very reminiscent of cheese tortellini.  The baked ones, well those were out of this world!  Think cheesy pasta casserole– putting this dish over the top were the fresh mushrooms that were a part of it.  THIS was comfort food and makes me very, very happy.

2.  My whole meal at Troekuroff (Ekaterinburg)

MMMMMMM

MMMMMMM

So I’ve written about the whole thing already, the four-sided pot pie (pictured), the borscht, the deer filet.  This was the best end-to-end meal of the whole trip.  I still can’t get over how empty the place was!  Dear Russians… I know you can make this stuff at home, and do regularly… but do yourself a favor and get over here!  That four-sided pot pie is even in my dreams now, a week later…

1.  Chanterelle Soup at Pavilion (Moscow)

Oh.  My.  God.

Oh. My. God.

My favorite thing I ate all week?  Easy:  chanterelle soup at the Pavilion.  When I sat down, they opened up the menu and it said simply:  “Summer time at the Pavilion.  It’s chanterelle season!”  This was easily the freshest, boldest, ignore-manners-and-pick-up-the-bowl good soup I maybe have ever had.  It was simple– a long-simmering vegetable stock with a few scattered vegetables (notably green onions) and a pile of fresh, woodsy, earthy, flavorful chanterelles.  I thought Russia was known for potatoes, but I’ve changed my mind!

So gang, that’s it!  Hope you enjoyed my little tour through Russia (and Prague).  If not, well… I’ll be back in Cincinnati tonight and back to some familiar haunts.  I’m headed to a new home and VERY much looking forward to relaxing for a couple of weeks.  But another trip looms on the horizon (China in about 3 weeks).  In the meantime, I’ll rest my stomach.  And maybe go to the gym?

Do svidaniya

Do svidaniya